I cant believe it!

So the other night i was talking on the phone with one of my close friends from colorado and she had been talking about how it will be a year on wensday since her and her boyfriend got together. That made me thaink then i finally realized that it has been 8 months since i moved =(. Thinking about that kind of made me sad, but then i was ok because ever since i moved here i felt like a  weight was lifted off my shoulders. Yeah there are some days here when i wish that i still lived in colorado. But i think that i have really good friends down here that seem to really care about me , they dont look at me and say that im fat or that i need to loose weight. Thats what most of my friends did back in colorado. When they would do that i would just shut everything out and get really down on myself.............

favorite song

MY NEW FAVORITE SONG
"THOUSAND YEARS"
by christina perri!

IM DONE!

Im so Done with everything now im in tears right now i just cant hide it anymore i guess i cant deal with it anymore. I come to school with a happy face on but no one really knows how i feel im so sick on dealing with people who keep stepping on me like im a freaking door mat. I ask them why they are my friends and then say that im awsome and that they love me and of course i believe  them. And NO its none of you on here. I just want to go to a place where i dont have to be afraid to be who i am. Im so tierd of being called annoying and idk i just want to go some where i feel like i belong. I dont want to loose the people i care about yes im nice. I know you say i shouldnt do the things that i do but its hard. I wonder what would some people do if i wasnt nice, what would they do if i completly stop talking at all. Im just going to stop talking to anyone except for my parents and my family. I wonder if that will make everything different then i wouldnt be so annoying!!!! All i can say is that im sorry for being so annoyingi hope that you can forgive me and now i wont be so annoying anymore.......i will just be that girl in the back of the room ALONE!

you found out.

You found out that i was coming to colorado for a week and the suddenly you have my number again. Wow you only talk to me when you know i will be coming back for a week i mean how shallow is that i cant believe that. You told me before i left that you would never speak to me again and that as far as you thought i was dead to you. But now all of the sudden you are like oh i still love you i want you back. I mean yea i loved you until you hurt me, you looked me right in the eyes and said that i was never anything to you just a piece of ass. those were your words you have no clue how many nights i stayed up crying because of you. You were my longest relationship i guess you could say "first love". Ugh why i even have the slightest feelings for you. You have already told me that i cant hang out with the guy friends that i have down here becuase you dont want me to.  You told me that my friend Wyatt looks like a fag i mean how can you say that you dont know him and you say that he is just being my friend to show. I cant even believe your lies anymore because i always get hurt in the end!!!! any advice this is a cry out for help!

hey blogger!

Hey guys Iknow that I havent bloged in a while but I guessI have been to busy.
But im back =)
So anyways my life has been pretty busy i guess im involved with alot of things now, like im apart of a life group and i go to church every sunday now! I have gotten so many new friends i cant even believe it, and now that i am apart of there life group i get to go on a trip the first week of july i cant wait! Im going to New Orleans! haha and then three weeks after that i will be 18 yah!! im so excited for that.
But way before that happens im going to Colorado for a week!!! im SUPER excited for that.
I get to go see my friends that i havent seen in forever, and im happy this time we are getting a hotel with a pool ha. I wonder what my friends down there will say when they find out im COMING TO VISIT!!!
ha.
i guess thats whats ben going on i guess ha

ugh things that are on my mind!

im not sure if i want to go to prom anymore but i kind of have to...i  already bought the dress. I just dont want to go you know i thought i did, but now that its kind of getting closer idk..i remeber last year me and my friends back home were planning on getting a limo and all going out to dinner and stuff but sadly i moved and i still wanted to do the limo thing with all my friends but i dont know if that would happen...  also want i wanted my dream to come true and have the perfrect noght buti doubt that. But i guess im just going to have to grin and bear it. Im really missing home right now i mean i dont have anything against Ashland or anything, its just that i cant do somethings like i used to be able to. Like i used to live two blocks from the mall, and we had a Hobby Lobby three blocks from that. The other thing i hate is being so far away from all of my friends that i grew up with. ITs just all so frustrating i guess, i mean the other night i broke down infront of my mom i mean i dont usually do that. She had this look on her face like she was so shocked. But anyways I found out that this girl thati have known for the longest time is  months pregnant and that she is having a girl. The thing that made me mad was that i had to find out through facebook i mean she could of told me sooner. I also couldnt believe it because me and her had talked about it and she had told me that she didnt want to get pregnant in highschool because she wanted to finish out school. But to come to know she dropped out all i can say is wow, but i guess i cant change things all i can do is pray that she will be ok i guess.
so how was  your weekend?