Idk.........?

What does it mean when you are sleeping and you dream about the people you miss the most. Like the other night i had a dream about me and my brother........ it was like nothing ever happend between me and him and our family was back together. And like every one was happy agian but i knew it wasnt real because we never had fights. I guess it was just me thinking about what i want life to be like in my house again. Or i just dont know what it really meant i guess. I mean the other day was the first time talking to my brother in 4 months. When i was talking to him on the phone i wished that i could find a way to hug him. I mean yea we have had our fights but that doesnt matter i never wanted to loose him. I can say that i offically miss my brother. I never thought that i would loose all contact with him but i guess that will never change. You know what if i had the chance to go back in time and that i could change something in my past you know what that would be i would go back and tell my brother that i love him and that i dont want to loose him. And then my family would be happy and then yea im happy.

3 days till christmas

well we are all know that there is onyly three days until christmas i know im excited are you? hah anyways im pretty exicted for the new year because i kinda wanna forget some stuff that has happend this year like the fights with my brother and more but i wont go into detail. i just want to start of a new year and hopefully this year goes better than my last one =).  I can say some good things about this year well i have made some great friends who have impacted my life =)

UGH!!!

Why does life have to be soo complicated....................Like the past week i made a descision where i hurt someone that i didnt mean too but idk, and like everytime i see him in the hallway he has that look on his face like he is hurting but everytime i try an talk to him, he just tells me that he has alot on his mind, then he just smiles. But i can see the hurt behind his smile =( am i really a horrible person??? maybe i am idk i just cant do anything right i guess

when i do something i think is best i always hurt someone

when i think that something is right to do i always end up hurting someone like i just broke up him because i liked him more as a friend now and i feel like a horrible person now because idk.....but i had to do what was right......or at least thats what i thought...........................idk i mean i didnt mean to hurt them i hope that they know that i mean idk what to say...... any advice out there???

Music is my life

Music is my life because i love music with all my heart. I go to music when im down and it seems to help alot. I mean i can listen to it and just think about life. Like i have specific songs that i like to listen to. Like christian music is my all time favortie now because when i listen to them and sing along in my head i just feel like weights has been lifted from my shoulders....i know that sounds weird but thats who i am. Like i know i dont really come around as the person who goes to church but i do and i love it alot. I love worshiping god! See three years ago you wouldn catch me setting foot in a church because for along time i didnt think there was a god because of what happend to my grandparents, and for a while my mom hated god for taking her parents but then something changed. I had friends that went to church and started to take me with them and i began to love. It so thats how i began to go to church and ever since then my mom goes to chruch with me and im grateful for that =)

Life?

have you ever thought about what life would be like with out friends....hmm i think that it would be pretty boring haha thats why you gotta have friends in you life to make you smile when your down... Anyways life without friends would be pretty boring or at least i think ha

Right now i hate MEN!!!!!

At this moment right now i hate men i mean i said yes to date you because i thought you meant what you told me but i guess you didnt i fucking hate you now...just because i was mad at you, you go and do that to me what the fuck i thought you cared but what the fuck ever im done. Im done dealing with you, you can go screw yourself......because im DONE have a nice life
Sincerely

Katie

the love between me and you

No one sees the way you make me feel,
so i sit and cry out to you
im crying out inside watching me unreal
where are you!
watching from a distance
Standing there like a fool you are
i knew in that instance
You just lowerd the bar
Long live the broken
Long live the hate
Long live the free
death to the love
The love between you and me
dont try to fight it
Its done and over
just bite your lip
My love for you is gone and over
help yourself to her
I'll wait and watch as you get hurt
I'll watch and wait sir
It was nice to know you flirt
Long live the broken
Long live the hate
Long live the free
death to the love
The love between you and me
You make me sick
just let it be
I know how to make you tick
Long live the broken
Long live the hate
Long live the free
death to the love
the love between you and me
This way i feel is hurting
Why can you let me be
I'm to tierd to be listening
Leave me
Long live the broken
Long live the hate
Long live the free
death to the love
the love between you and me
<3
ENJOY!

Fading away

Every day seems to be growing longer and longer.I sit here in class thinking about what i can change and what i can do so that people woulndt say the things they do. I wonder if i stop talking to everyone maybe that will change things i think that maybe im going to try and do that and see what that does because im just done trying......because all its doing is hurting me in the end. Why cant people accept me for who i am? thats the real question here.I mean sometimes i just want to crawl up in a ball and cry but that doesnt seem to be a good idea.

when you give everything you have

What are you suppose to do when you be nice to a person like everyday bring them lunch and then they go behind you back and tell people that your annoying. It just makes me feel so mad and to know that they do that... i just dont understand i mean why cant they just be nice and at least say something to me and not go around telling everyone els and then having me find out from them. It just hurts you know to know that they do i mean i would just stop bringing them lunch but im a nice person. Maybe i should just stop talking.....i dont know anymore

Little pieces of heaven =)

The little pieces of heaven are babies when they come into the word they are so cute. I mean as soon as you see their great big eyes you get attached. But you never know how special they are to you until you lose them. Once your standing there and watching the docotrs run in and out trying to figure what happen. Your heart stops for a moment and then it hits you...... i just lost my baby. I mean i dont have expierence on this but my best friend does. So none of really know what its like to lose a baby and this is how i would feel. Its like a piece of your heart just fell out. Your body doesnt want to move at all..... But you also got to think yes my baby has died but it has also gone home =).